How to catch a wild hog

WELCOME TO THE BACK PORCH!

October 26th, 2007

HOW DO YOU CATCH A WILD HOG?

Tamara was talking to a young man whom we like and admire very much...fact, is the guy is a Nutrader advertiser and pays for having his ads in our website so we have not a little affection for the man and when he speaks, we listen.

"I'm a Democrat" he says, "But me and old Ralph genereally agree on everything even though we get there in different ways" This fellow was speaking about all my commentaries in www.NuTrader.com as well as our brand-spankin new and improved family sized LIVE BACK PORCH & SWAP SHOP on Mondays 2PM CST @ www.blogtalkradio.com/ralphsbackporch

"Yessir", he says "We think alike but we have two different ways of approaching things...but I reckon it's all good since we wind up in the same place"

Now this tells me that there is a diveristy and a genuine individualism still lodged deep in the American soul and that even though we ALL know right from wrong and MOST of us posess enough common sense to pour liquid from a boot, with or without directions wrote on the heel, and that if WE as Americans put our hearts and minds together we can still make a go of the absolute best form of government ever instituted on the face of this little old planet.

Democrat? Republican? Libertarian? Independant? Know Nothing? Isolationist? Whig? Tory? these are all just words and some of them are very old now, but they all describe ideals we have had in the past about the way our government should run.

Wasn't too long ago, in fact, my Daddy was a proud 'Dixie-Crat" and that particular part of the Democratic party has also gone by the wayside, the very word maligned and misused because of the Civil Rights reforms that took place back in the sixties.

Folks, I can recall very vividly that Dixie Crats were conservative, stood for core family values, pro life supporters, and stood for conservative stewardship of our finances.

The thing about it is, our present day Republicans here in the South, at least, are old fashioned Dixie Crats and don't even know it. There just isn't any other party to hang our hats on right now but the Republican party and let's face it, there is as much sexual scandal, corruption, misuse of the public trust in the GOP as there is in any other party.

We certainly don't care for Ted Kennedy, Fienstien and the like. Our president back before the present administration, who just happened to get caught doing something naughty while in the Oval Office, not only lied to his wife, but lied to Congress and then US, and dang it, that aint right and we SHOULD have thrown his slick butt out of office.

But.....what'd we get in his place? $3.00 a gallon gas? Jobs flying out the back door so that Indians and Pakistanis can snap 'em up? Mexicans flooding the borders?

Ya'll want to stop all the illegals coming over her? STOP ALLOWING COMPANIES TO HIRE 'EM!

Cut off the money supply and how do WE do that? VOTE FOR FOLKS YOU KNOW WON'T ALLOW IT.

oh! The Wild hog thing......take a look at this!

How to catch wild pigs
There was a Chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab, the Prof noticed one young man (exchange student) who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt. The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.

In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question.

He asked, "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said this was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence.

They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America. The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. While we continually lose our freedoms - just a little at a time.

One should always remember "There is no such thing as a free lunch!" Also, "You can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.


Sent in by Joe Ryan up in Center, Texas. Thanks Joe!
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YOU CAN PAINT A PUMPKIN BLACK BUT.....

It's never gonna be a bowling ball!

The bad news is: We as Americans are soft, good for nothing in general, too lazy to work and too nervous to steal, and what my grandmaw like to call 'shiftless".

We have been attached to the government teat for so long it just seems natural to belly up to that old gumint giveaway tough for another heapin helpin of good old time nasty pork barrel porridge.

The GOOD News is: WE don't have to take it anymore! I frankly don't care if you are a Republican, a Democrat, white, black, brown or a purple people eater, if you are as ticked off about this as most folks in this country then it is time to do something about it.

OK....I am NOT going to tout any one candidate for president. I refuse. I refuse to talk bad about homosexuals (NO, I refuse to call them 'gay'...gay means happy! Gay doesn't mean queer...I don't much like that term neither. Gay doesn't mean an alternative sexual lifestyle, gay means the opposite of sad which I find funny they call themselves that. Personally I have no axe to grind either way. If they are proud enough to have 'Gay Pride" parades, then they ought to be proud enough to call themselves what they are, which is homosexuals...duh. Don't get me wrong, I don't approve of that lifestyle I just think folks ought to call a pig a pig if it snorts.))

What Im gonna do is lay it out here on the line and IF yall want to pay attention, that's fine and if you don't well, choose someone YOU think can do a good job.

Mike Huckabee. In the first place this is the ONLY candidate running on the Republican ticket that has a concealed handgun permit.
Yeah, that isn't the ONLY reason I'm going to vote for him, but it IS a start!

He's also an ordained minister. He pastored a church and if you want to get back to old time core values, then why not give a Christian minister a chance to lead? Lord knows, these old boys are good at raising money and they also know how to stand up to a crowd of naysayers and least but not last, ministers know how to squeeze a nickel until the buffalo bellows.

http://www.mikehuckabee.com/index.cfm?FuseAction=Issues.Home

Take a look and see what I see in this guy. Honesty, integrity, faith in tomorrow, grounded in the past, common sense.
Enough of that.

Vote for whomever you will but the point is...VOTE!

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IT'S A JOKE!

Housekeeping Tips
1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.11. Simplify... hire a maid.12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being Hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes
Thanks Gladys!
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ROSES WHERE ROSES ARE DUE!
The other night we got a call from someone and all we heard was my son, Travis" wife hollering "Oh My God! Ooooooh My God!" Like teleportation me, Lydia and tamara all stood instantly by Meagan as she clutched the phone to her ear listening and I knew as well as I am sitting here that something mighty bad had happened to Travis and it had.

The person on the line had told us that Travis car was found on a highway outside of Pineland Texas crushed, the airbag deployed and blood soaking the interior.
If you can imagine the weight of a thousand pound rock settling on your chest, cutting your air off, making you gasp for every breath and then your mind going to much, that would describe all of us at that moment.
Several things happened in rapid sucession. Calls were made to Sherrifs offices, EMS services, hospitals and anyone we could think of. We coould think of nothing other than finding him and praying to God that he was alive, that Travis had survived whatever tragedy this was and when it come's down to this point...all you want is to have your little boy home, safe, warm, loved, protected.
I was on one cell phone, talking to the local authorities, who by the way, bless their hearts, couldn't do much other than try to make me calm and be patient with me when another cell phone rang and it was TRAVIS on the other line! ALIVE!
"Uh Dad..." dazed and confused sounding but definitely alive, "Could you come get me? I'm close to Pineland at someone's house" and then his voice trailed off and an older gentleman got on the phone.
"Mr. Hampton?" The man sounded downright scared. "Your son is pretty bad and needs to go to a hospital pretty quick." Then the old man gave me directions and before he hung up the phone our truck was screaming down the hiway with Lydia telling me to "slow down for goodness sake! It won't help Travis if we're dead!"
We hung a sharp left into the driveway and there was Travis waiting under the porch light, bloody from head to toe, his nose split wide open, his face swollen beyond belief with the elderly couple gently ministering to his needs in the bright light of the porch.
I rushed over and grabbed up my son, hugged him gently and then gave him over to my wife to get into the truck for his trip to the hsopital.
And then.....I turned and saw the old couple, wringing hands, worried faces, and I enfolded the sweet, small lady in my arms and brought her gently to my chest and hugged her while her husband joined us and we all began to cry.
We held one another tightly and I leaned down and said, "Thank God for people like you." And then I whirled and left on the run to get Travis to a much needed doctor.
Well, some stitches later...some helping, kind hands, some fine doctoring by a man named Dr. Liftschitz (I kid you not) and some welcome attention from Lynn Schovsja, our dear friend and a night nurse at Hemphill Hospital.
Travis is home now after a tie rod broke and a car swerving away from a deer, after butting headon into a pinetree which happened not to budge, after an airbag deployed at the rate of 200 hundred miles an hour directly into the kid's face, after all this, he is home, a little worse for wear, a little bunged up and a whole lot smarter about avoiding deers at night, Travis is home.
I dont even know the name of the elderly couple who took my broken son off the street, wiped the blood from his face, gave him a fresh shirt and bandaged him until we arrived. I bet I find out and when I do I am going to see them and thank them better.
Until then, thank you! May God bless you and keep you.
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The Problem with Outsourcing
A friend of mine got really depressed last night.So he called Lifeline.He got a call center in Pakistan.He told them he was suicidal.They got all excited and asked if he could fly a plane?
Joe from Center! Thanks, Joe!
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RED HOT BUSINESSES!
I-10 ANTIQUE MALL
Judy Carter says. "Yall come on down to the I-10 Antique Mall cause we are THE MALL THAT DOES IT ALL!" Dealer space available right there in Orange, Texas!
Exit 869 off of I-10 to get there and The Mall is located on the South side of the highway.
Click on Judy's banner in the antique category and see what a wonderful world of antiques and memories Judy built in Orange!
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T&T Buildings & Carports in Lumberton, Texas on the East side of Highway 96 as you are going South towards Beaumont.
Roger & Miranda tell me that they can do anything! This ain't yo Momma's carports, no siree! Roger & Miranda build you a structure from the ground up and they sure do enjoy what they do cause they have it all! Fair prices, great workmanship, all the reasons why yall oughta check them out for your shop, carport, boathouse, outhouse and much more!
Take a look at the banner right here in www.NuTrader.com for more information about these and all the fine advertisers who KEEP NuTrader ADS FREE!
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WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT US!
I'll cut to the main topic, Sheriff Joe Arpaio for president!!!! Seems the most logical answer to me!! Loved your back porch this week, haven't gotten one in a while. I got that Joe Arpaio e-mail too, I think I forwarded it to you too. Man that guy is so cool, one time I think they had something on TV about him. We need more leaders like him in this dang country.Weather......been pretty decent here for fall, we had some super weather, did rain all day Tuesday tho. But sun out again temperatures not so nice, 34 out now, but hey it is fall and NY, way up north, 20 minutes from Canada North! Keep forgettin to tune your new radio show in on Mondays, would love to here ya's all chat and join in! Love to hear a Texas accent! And of course I will have the ol' NY one to you all, lol.Well got to run, keep up the good work!
Susan Villnavehttp://www.freewebs.com/paintedpigeon/http://www.freewebs.com/standingstud/http://quarterhorselegends.googlepages.com/home http://www.ark-la-tex-online.com/index.phpGOD grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, the WISDOM to know the difference.
Thank you Susan! CALL us on the Back Porch Show! The number is: 347 215 8849 on Mondays, 2PM CST\
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Good Morning Ralph!

I was just letting you know that I haven’t received the Back Porch yet this week. Is everything going all right?

Thanks!
This came from Joanna in Idaho and hopefully she has her Back Porch by now. Folks, sometimes I don't even realize how much the Back Porch can mean until yall tell me you aren't getting it or that it hasn't come yet.
Yesterday at Sassafras Festival in downtown San Augustine we had a whole bunch of folks come up to us, shake our hands and tell us how much they enjoy the Back Porch and I'd like to take a moment to thank them right here and now.
We don't send out the Back Porch to call attention to ourselves, we like to think Back Porch helps yall feel a part of our community here at www.NuTrader.com and now at www.blogtalkradio.com/ralphsbackporch which is the NEW LIVE SWAP SHOP!
Buddy & Vickie from Bronson also shook our hands yesterday and let us know how much they enjoyed what we do and like I told them, it ain't us here in the office that counts, it's all of YOU we depend upon to help our days go better!
So THANK YOU NuTrader users for reading us, browsing ads, posting ads and letting our advertisers know you FOUND 'EM ON WWW.NuTrader.com!
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CHEAP TOMATOES
This should make everyone think, be you Democrat, Republican or Independent From a California school teacher - - - "As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal immigration, there are some things that you should be aware of:I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large southern California high school which is designated a Title 1 school, meaning that its students average lower socioeconomic and income levels.Most of the schools you are hearing about, South Gate High, Bell Gardens , Huntington Park , etc., where these students are protesting, are also Title 1 schools. Title 1 schools are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say free breakfast, I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll -- but a full breakfast and cereal bar with fruits and juices that would make a Marriott proud. The waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being dumped in the trash uneaten. ( OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK ) I estimate that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least moderately overweight. About 75% or more DO have cell phones. The school also provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as young as 13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to arrange for babysitters or having family watch their kids. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for the upcoming year even though there was little need for anything; my budget was already substantial. I ended up buying new computers for the computer learning center, half of which, one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the appreciative students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free education in America . (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers whose classes consist of many illegal immigrant students here in the country less then 3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling them "Putas" whores and throwing things that the teachers were in tears. Free medical, free education, free food, day careetc., etc, etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements ?To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs. Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., etc, etc. For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes. We need to wake up. The guest worker program will be a disaster because we won't have the guts to enforce it . Does anyone in their right mind really think they will voluntarily leave and return? It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture that does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and dropping out of school by 15 and that refuses to assimilate , and an American culture that has become so weak and worried about " politically correctness" that we don't have the will to do anything about it. If this makes your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you know. CHEAP LABOR? Isn't that what the whole immigration issue is about?Business doesn't want to pay a decent wage. Consumers don't want expensive produce. Government will tell you Americans don't want the jobs. But the bottom line is cheap labor. The phrase "cheap labor" is a myth , a farce, and a lie. There is no such thing as "cheap labor." Take, for example, an illegal alien with a wife and five children. He takes a job for $5.00 or 6.00/hour. At that wage, with six dependents, he pays no income tax, yet at the end of the year, if he files an Income Tax Return, he gets an "earned income credit" of up to $3,200 free. He qualifies for Section 8 housing and subsidized rent.He qualifies for food stamps. He qualifies for free (no deductible, no co-pay) health care. His children get free breakfasts and lunches at school.
He requires bilingual teachers and books. He qualifies for relief from high energy bills.If they are or become, aged, blind or disabled, they qualify for SSI. Once qualified for SSI they can qualify for Medicare. All of this is at (our) taxpayer's expense . He doesn't worry about car insurance, life insurance, or homeowners insurance. Taxpayers provide Spanish language signs, bulletins and printed material.He and his family receive the equivalent of $20.00 to $30.00/hour in benefits. Working Americans are lucky to have $5.00 or $6.00/hour left after paying their bills and his. The American taxpayers also pay for increased crime, graffiti and trash clean-up. Cheap labor? YEAH RIGHT! Wake up people! THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS WE SHOULD BE ADDRESSING TO THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR EITHER PARTY. 'AND WHEN THEY LIE TO US AND DON'T DO AS THEY SAY, WE SHOULD REPLACE THEM AT ONCE!'
I'd like to add this.....
We here in America are so funny. We gripe and complain about illegals and all the woes of our country today, and yet, yet... I saw a voting sign yesterday on the county courthouse lawn that said, "VOTE HERE" and right under the word 'here' was printed in large letters "Aqui" which is SPAINISH for 'here'.
Folks, I saw on TV the other day a reporter who was reporting on those devasting fires in California hem up Governor Schwarzenegger and begin badgering him with questions about fault and blame and doom & gloom and the man actually had to grag this reporter's hand gently in his large paws and explain to her that there simply WAS no bad things there on that day. People were safe, people were glad to be alive, people were determined and that the American Spirit is alive and well right there in California amidst so much heartache and loss.
Seems to me like we need more leaders in this country who direct us to the GOOD things, who will help us see the RIGHT things our governements can do and sweep aside the Armeggedon mentality and go on and do the right thing!
Do you want to change things? Then get off your fannies and don't accept BUSINESS AS USUAL! YOU have the power, NOT the politicians!
Well, enough of that!
Yall be sure and CALL us this Monday and each Monday at 2PM CST and talk to me on the Live Swap Shop! The number is 347 215 8849 and we'd like to hear from each and every one of you!
Remember to POST some ads on www.Nutrader.com this week, ok? We love to see what yall BUY, SELL & TRADE!
Until next week, have a BLESSED day and make sure you say a little pray for those folks who need it!
Ralph
www.NuTrader.com